The Scallion - Page 30 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Guy downloads Tik Tok ironically and starts using it religiously

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 16, 2019October 16, 2019

October 16, 2019October 16, 2019

MATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag What’s the old phrase? “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” This is the fate that has fallen upon freshman gravitational studies major Samuel Mitch, who has found himself Tik Tok famous. Mitch claims that he was an......

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Widdle Adam Schiff uwu, puh-wease don’t wook into tha whistlebwower!

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 16, 2019October 16, 2019

October 16, 2019October 16, 2019

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Long-Suffering Editor of the Scallion Hi everyone. Here at the Scallion, we strive for the finest articles. We sit for hours, discussing what is socially and politically relevant, and most of all, what is funny. At our weekly meetings on Monday, I had an idea. I wrote down......

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Down with the Scallion! Writer fed up with oppressive formatting guidelines

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 16, 2019October 16, 2019

October 16, 2019October 16, 2019

COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Fredonia Scallion writer Corey Dale-Miller was scolded last week for no reason. Dale-Miller, who wears glasses, was told specifically not to use 18-point font. How am I supposed to see this shit if it’s only 10-point font? Like seriously, my glasses barely work anyways. I’ve really......

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“What do YOU think of the possible impeachment of Donald Trump?”

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 16, 2019October 16, 2019

October 16, 2019October 16, 2019

ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Monnie Lewinski, freshman psychology major with an internship at the White House “He goes to zoom tan, right?” Lenny D., senior environmental science major with a minor in acting “I heard he takes his private jet everywhere, and that is NOT good for the environment. If......

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The Scallion responds: Willie C’s scathing cease and desist letter

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 16, 2019October 16, 2019

October 16, 2019October 16, 2019

DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor Mr. C: It is with a heavy heart I respond to your letter calling us here at the Scallion “crass and inappropriate and altogether inaccurate.” Here at the Scallion, we strive to be accurate above all else. That is why I would like to meet......

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Horoscopes 10/9/19

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 9, 2019October 9, 2019

October 9, 2019October 9, 2019

ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Aquarius: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could end up in prison. Watch out. Pisces: You should buy airpods because the wire on your headphones is very embarrassing. Aries: On Friday, you will feel a weight......

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Local student committed to doing essay after five more minutes of video game

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 9, 2019October 8, 2019

October 9, 2019October 8, 2019

COREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Neva S. Tapp, a sophomore communication major who had not yet started his English class essay, was last seen playing “Borderlands 3” alone on his couch. When The Scallion inquired about Tapp’s intention to finish his schoolwork, Tapp noted that “Borderlands 3″ had only just come......

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Local student really hoping they’re lucky enough to get cold chicken wings made several hours ago at Willy C’s

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 9, 2019October 8, 2019

October 9, 2019October 8, 2019

MATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag Willy C’s: the goddamn dungeon of overhyped fast food that lurks beneath the Williams Center. We’re all familiar with the long lines, the disturbing smell of despair and half-furnished basement and the television screen of hypnotic and meaninglessly-color-coded numbers. But we still go. We still hope......

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Pelosi: ‘Concentration camps acceptable, but we draw the line at investigating Biden’

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 9, 2019October 8, 2019

October 9, 2019October 8, 2019

DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor An impeachment inquiry has begun as a result of a whistleblower complaint. The whistleblower complains that Trump asked the Ukranian prime minister to investigate Biden. Pelosi and House Democrats draw the line there. No one messes with Joe. “There are just some actions that are......

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Student ends cyberbullying, deletes social media

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 2, 2019October 1, 2019

October 2, 2019October 1, 2019

DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor You heard it here first, folks. After weeks spent dreading logging into Facebook, Frederick Drain has taken action against his aggressors. Ever since he went to class wearing a full suit of armor, clanging and creaking down the halls, other students referred to him as......

Humans steal jobs created for AI: The irony of automation…

[SATIRE] Megan’s Sports Roundup: Sports from someone who DEFINITELY knows…

Professor Peter Tucker reflects on his time at Fredonia

Trumps wins 2024 presidential election

Fredonia’s violinist David Rose performs from the heart

[SATIRE] Horoscopes and it’s the same but I’m an alum…

The ‘surprisingly chaotic’ Canadaway Creek

Digging into the impact of Fredonia’s faculty cuts

From EBC to Tiki: Fredonia staple changes ownership

Reviving community through leadership on the field

Widdle Adam Schiff uwu, puh-wease don’t wook into tha whistlebwower!

Down with the Scallion! Writer fed up with oppressive formatting guidelines

“What do YOU think of the possible impeachment of Donald Trump?”

The Scallion responds: Willie C’s scathing cease and desist letter

Horoscopes 10/9/19

Local student committed to doing essay after five more minutes of video game

Local student really hoping they’re lucky enough to get cold chicken wings made several hours ago at Willy C’s

Pelosi: ‘Concentration camps acceptable, but we draw the line at investigating Biden’

Student ends cyberbullying, deletes social media