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July 24, 2024
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From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

The Leader
Scallion

“What’s YOUR favorite part about Willy C’s?”

Contributor to The Leader
ALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Christopher Robin, freshman who still gets lost on campus major “The pasta station … wait, that’s Cranston.” Bradley Preston Harrington III, sophomore sports management major with a minor in frat-ology “Uhhhh … I don’t know. The tables are great for beer die, I guess. Die up,......
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Scallion

Free-spirited Fredonia architect is at it again: ‘Excelsior Cafe’ is coming to Rockefeller

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag Ahmelia Schitt is something of a rockstar in the college-campus design circles, and she’s back in town. In an exclusive interview on Thursday, she announced that she would be designing a new eatery on-campus, with a literal twist. For those who have gone all this time......
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Scallion

“You have to do this, Joe” God says to Biden during political rally

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Well, the old fogie is at it again.  Former Vice President Joe Biden recently revealed in an interview with the Scallion that during his rally in Poughkeepsie, God appeared to tell him that he has to take on Trump alone.  “It was a miracle. There I......
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Scallion

Gotta admit, he’s got guts: Trump tears off clothes for people standing outside of White House fence

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Well, you can’t get angry at him for this one. President Trump recently walked to the fence outside of the White House, alarming members of the secret service, and tore his clothes off “down to his undies” reports said. Not even mad; guy has got some......
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Scallion

What’s that, Fredonia? What do YOU think of our incumbent president, Dr. Hefner?

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Wanda Plongo, sophomore political science major “Who?” Goulash Jambalaya, senior criminal justice major “I think it’s pretty interesting that the rotting corpse of Hugh Hefner is now the president of Fredonia. What a small world we live in.” Greej Dunkle, freshman anti-mathematics major “If I knew......
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Scallion

“Guess I’m not sick anymore” says student vomiting outside closed LoGrasso Student Health Center

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor LoGrasso Health Center, Fredonia – Sunday afternoon, James “Barfy” Bartholemew was spotted banging on the door outside LoGrasso clutching at his stomach as a custodian within shook their head, refusing to allow Barfy access to the building. “Please, I’m very sick. I need help,” begged......
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Scallion

‘We’re ignorian Dorian’ Trump puts the hurricane in time out

Contributor to The Leader
DOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor As we enter the month with the largest number of hurricanes on average, tropical storms become stronger and stronger. This includes the first ever hurricane to reach Category 5, according to President Trump. In September 2017, Hurricane Irma hit the US, the first of four......
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Scallion

Heartwarming: When this student was feeling shy and didn’t want to socialize, this heroic RA forced them to do icebreakers

Contributor to The Leader
JOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Get out your tissues, this one’s a tear jerker! Julia Freedman, a shy freshman just starting at Fredonia, wasn’t really in the mood to socialize and just wanted to get the hall meeting over with. But the heroic RA of Nixon Hall, Patricia Stronghold, decided she......
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