The Scallion - Page 29 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

I swear to God if campus shuts down before this article gets released, I will eat my shorts

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 8, 2020September 8, 2020

September 8, 2020September 8, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAKEditor of The Scallion Hey bozos, just letting you know now that if you DARE shut down campus before this article is published on the website, I will literally eat my shorts. I know exactly the pair. My Saturday shorts, which are one of my favorite pairs (they’re very......

Scallion

I didn’t realize how cool my family got when I left for college

Contributor to The LeaderMay 9, 2020May 9, 2020

May 9, 2020May 9, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag I’ve had a lot of time to hang out with my family this semester. From August 25 on, I spent a lot of time separated from them, and even though I would call once a week, I couldn’t help but feel like we grew apart. I......

Scallion

Horoscopes 5/6/2020

Contributor to The LeaderMay 6, 2020May 6, 2020

May 6, 2020May 6, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSHProfessional selfie-taker and simp Aquarius: You came to The Leader the day of your daughter’s wedding to read your horoscope? Pisces: Don’t let these horoscopes define who you are. Aries: Your horoscope 10,000% defines who you are. Don’t listen to Pisces. Taurus: I miss you as much as dads......

Scallion

Horoscopes 5/2/2020

Contributor to The LeaderMay 2, 2020May 2, 2020

May 2, 2020May 2, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Professional comedian and frozen pizza cooker Aquarius: I love and miss you people. Pisces: I bet you’d look beautiful, even with a face mask on. Aries: Aries?? More like HAIR-ES. Just because there’s a stay @ home order doesn’t mean we let ourselves go. Shave, please. Taurus: Finally,......

Scallion

Horoscopes 4/25/2020

Contributor to The LeaderApril 25, 2020April 24, 2020

April 25, 2020April 24, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Special to The Leader Aquarius: Summer is coming up and we are all dying to know, is your summer body ready yet? Probably not, so start jogging. Pisces: It takes a lot to sit in the house all day, but you know what else is hard? These online......

Scallion

[Satire] Pets’ perspective: The pandemic

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2020April 17, 2020

April 19, 2020April 17, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesJULES HOEPTING Guest Scallywag Here at The Leader, we strive for balanced perspectives on important issues. It has been apparent that one COVID-19 highly affected group — the pets — has been practically ignored. As it turns out, just like us humans, pets are processing the pandemic in different ways. ......

Scallion

[Satire] This coronavirus has affected my motivation so much, I’m even too lazy to write this article

Contributor to The LeaderApril 18, 2020April 17, 2020

April 18, 2020April 17, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor...

Scallion

[Satire] With nothing else for people to do, these bizarre internet challenges are making a comeback

Contributor to The LeaderApril 15, 2020April 15, 2020

April 15, 2020April 15, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag The internet is an interesting and terrifying place. People who you’ve never met look right at you, say, “what’s up, guys!” and immediately start making bad decisions. It’s the future every concerned mom from the ‘80s was worried about their kids getting involved with. There are......

Scallion

[Satire] Wait, where is everyone?

Contributor to The LeaderApril 13, 2020April 7, 2020

April 13, 2020April 7, 2020

Reading Time: 2 minutesHANNAH BLIDY Confused Staff Scallywag Okay, so it’s been like three weeks since spring break, and I don’t think I’ve seen a single person on campus. Seriously — not one. I really just don’t know what’s going on. I’ve been going to my classes, but no one ever shows up!......

Scallion

Horoscopes 4/11/2020

Contributor to The LeaderApril 11, 2020April 7, 2020

April 11, 2020April 7, 2020

Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Aquarius: COVID-19? More like Hoevid-19, Aquarius. I see you on Tinder. Pisces: Wash your hands please, thank you. Aries: Social-distance yourself from Geminis… They are never good to quarantine with. Taurus: I know you miss the cutie you used to see every MWF in your class,......

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I swear to God if campus shuts down before this article gets released, I will eat my shorts

I didn’t realize how cool my family got when I left for college

Horoscopes 5/6/2020

Horoscopes 5/2/2020

Horoscopes 4/25/2020

[Satire] Pets’ perspective: The pandemic

[Satire] This coronavirus has affected my motivation so much, I’m even too lazy to write this article

[Satire] With nothing else for people to do, these bizarre internet challenges are making a comeback

[Satire] Wait, where is everyone?

Horoscopes 4/11/2020