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Fredonia NY
April 26, 2025
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 Theater kids are taking over Fredonia

Rating every 2025 Oscar award-winning movie 

President Trump signs orders dismantling eight departments 

[SATIRE] Fear and Loathing in Talladega: A Journey to Beer-Soaked…

[SCALLION/NEWS] Campus bus leaves students traumatized

[SATIRE/NEWS] Police Notters

Executive Vice President and Provost Dr. David Starrett abruptly leaves…

[SATIRE] Abigail Jacobson, news editor, cancels news

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] The grave of the Pedro Pastall

Abigail Jacobson
ABIGAIL JACOBSON  Asst. News Editor  ATTENTION! I SAID ATTENTION! According to multiple sources across campus, the Pedro Pascal shrine, AKA the Pedro Pastall, has been reportedly taken down. By whom, you may ask? BY PEDRO PASCAL’S HATERS! Those scoundrels.  How dare they take down the shrine I go and pray......
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Scallion

[SCALLION] Get to know your Bachelor! A look inside the mind of Jace Jacobs

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Ladies, gentlemen and non-binary friends, we have a special surprise for you! I, Megan Kidby, sat down with our wonderful bachelor Jace Jacobs and asked him a couple questions about love, family, challenges and other things that made him the man he is today. If you......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] SUNY Unveils Bold New Strategy to Prepare Students for the Real World

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In a stunning move that has left students scratching their heads and faculty members questioning their life choices, SUNY has announced a revolutionary plan to overhaul its educational system.  Brace yourselves, folks, because SUNY is cutting all programs, effectively transforming itself into a “Program-Free Zone.” In......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] My apologies … (not clickbait)

Contributor to The Leader
MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor *sigh* I’ve made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgment. On November 23, I made a horrible mistake.  At around 2:30 p.m. EST, my grandfather entrusted me with the most sacred part of a white person’s Thanksgiving: the macaroni and cheese.  Unlike Colleen Ballinger, I......
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