The Scallion - Page 5 of 84 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What skeleton are you?

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 19, 2023October 19, 2023

October 19, 2023October 19, 2023

JACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion, Amateur Skeleton Wrangler Happy spooky season Fredheads (I know spooky season is an outdated phrase but I’m allowed to use it, I keep my Halloween decorations up year-round so you can’t judge me)! I have discovered a recent passion of mine, and that is......

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[SATIRE]: Lauren Boebert … Maybe don’t do that.

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 15, 2023October 15, 2023

October 15, 2023October 15, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor and Theater Nerd Hey Girly Pop! I’m so happy you decided to either randomly pick up this student-run newspaper from a state you’re not even in or search “Lauren Boebert Leader” on Google only to find this! I wanted to reach out and ask about your......

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[SATIRE] Vote for Dan! …one of them.[SATIRE]

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 8, 2023October 3, 2023

October 8, 2023October 3, 2023

DAN GRANADOS Business Manager DAN QUAGLIANA News Editor Hello, this is Timmy Toni, reporting back from the DNC (Dan National Convention). We have two extraordinary candidates for this race. Running for the position of “King Dan,” we have Dan Granados, from the Business Party, and Dan Quagliana, from the Editors’......

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[SATIRE] What 2024 presidential candidate will win in the race? (the 100m dash)

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2023October 3, 2023

October 7, 2023October 3, 2023

HUNTER HALTERMAN Track Star* Contrary to popular belief, presidential candidates should not be judged on how well they can run our country. Instead, they should be judged on how well they can run a 100-meter dash. It is 100 meters of not just sprinting, but also courage, determination and willpower.......

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[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What minor inconvenience will you face?

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 6, 2023October 3, 2023

October 6, 2023October 3, 2023

JACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion Hey guys. I don’t know how to start this off but I just want to let everyone know two things: 1. Midterms are quickly approaching and 2. The end is nigh. These things might be related but I’m not entirely sure, mercury is in......

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[SATIRE] The Wizard: Fredonia’s most magical student

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 4, 2023October 4, 2023

October 4, 2023October 4, 2023

MEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor THE WIZARD | Special to The Leader If you’re like me, you’re on the Fredonia Snapchat stories way too often. You scroll through and see the freshmen asking where certain things are, the other people dogging on the freshmen for not knowing where those things are......

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[COMIC] Something in the air

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 25, 2023September 21, 2023

September 25, 2023September 21, 2023

NICOLE THORSON Art Director...

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[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What Glee cover are you?

Chloe KowalykSeptember 24, 2023September 21, 2023

September 24, 2023September 21, 2023

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[SATIRE] Top 10 Reasons Why My Dad Should Be President

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 23, 2023September 18, 2023

September 23, 2023September 18, 2023

JACE JACOBS Assistant Scallion Editor Photo By TARA WINSTEAD | Provided by Pexels Election season is quickly approaching, and I thought it would benefit the public to know why I feel my father would be the best choice for president of the United States. (PS. Please don’t tell him I......

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[SATIRE] KENERGY: A RETROSPECTIVE

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 10, 2023September 6, 2023

September 10, 2023September 6, 2023

JACE JACOBS Assistant Scallion Editor Since the release of the “Barbie” movie, a new phenomenon has been sweeping the nation: Kenergy. Unfortunately, this movement has been misconstrued and overtaken by what I call “Fens” (fake Kens). Kenergy isn’t for every man, and some men don’t get that. Kenergy is for......

5th Quarter Column: Fifth Time’s a Charm?

Buffalo Bandits look to snatch third straight title

Why do gamers play games they hate?

Campus Life and Student Affairs unveil policy regulating on-campus assemblies

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What to get each sign

Holding space for the new Wicked movie: A review

[SATIRE] I hate Kia Souls

Why Dunkin’ Donuts is better than Tim Hortons, from the…

Apple Music vs. Spotify, coming from a person who has…

Abbie’s Thanksgiving food tier list

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What skeleton are you?

[SATIRE]: Lauren Boebert … Maybe don’t do that.

[SATIRE] Vote for Dan! …one of them.[SATIRE]

[SATIRE] What 2024 presidential candidate will win in the race? (the 100m dash)

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What minor inconvenience will you face?

[SATIRE] The Wizard: Fredonia’s most magical student

[COMIC] Something in the air

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What Glee cover are you?

[SATIRE] Top 10 Reasons Why My Dad Should Be President

[SATIRE] KENERGY: A RETROSPECTIVE