The Scallion - Page 73 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Sophomore tries to close Dod’s Hall, says ‘the freshman 15 is inevitable’

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist The uproar on social media Tuesday night following an “emergency in Dod’s Hall and Parking Lot 10” left many questions in the minds of Fredonia students. Why are we on lockdown? Was Wall-E really on campus? Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was that walking around......

Scallion

As seen on Yik Yak ‘Netflix and chill’ chills hearts of moral Fredonians

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

EMMO Special to the Lampoon Students demand the truth. They won’t stand for the lies and deception anymore. The cause of this commotion? “Netflix and chill.” If you have never used the internet before, “Netflix and chill” is defined by knowyourmeme.com as a slang term that refers to inviting......

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Lions, tigers, and weresquirrels

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

THE FEVER Special to the Lampoon We all know the story of werewolves being unleashed on full moons and opposing all things silver. But did you know that on blood moons, like the one two Sundays ago is when the weresquirrels emerge? Since the super blood moon eclipse on......

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Next season of ‘Survivor’ will take place on Mars

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

MISSY FEOLA Special to The Lampoon If you haven’t heard yet, then you must be living very far under a rock. The next season of CBS’s “Survivor” will be set on the planet Mars. Now that luscious water is flowing through the crevasses of volcanic rock on Mars, nothing......

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Drastic price hike comes at drastic cost Martin Shkreli gets financial AIDS

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 6, 2015

October 6, 2015

RILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor According to BBC, Martin Shkreli is “the most hated man in America” after he raised the price on Daraprim, a medication used to treat those with weakened immune systems. After he raised the price from $13.50 to $750 per pill, Shkreli faces some unforeseen consequences.......

Scallion

Horoscopes Week 6

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 1, 2015August 15, 2019

October 1, 2015August 15, 2019

PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist Capricorn It’s getting cold enough to retire your favorite pair of short shorts this week, Capricorn. The frilled hem wasn’t doing you any favors anyway. Aquarius If you get stir fry from the Williams Center, make sure you also buy a lot of water.......

Scallion

Drunk freshman swears he’s ‘not that drunk’

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015September 2, 2019

September 29, 2015September 2, 2019

THE FEVER Special to The Lampoon Some people just can’t hold their liquor — especially freshmen. Such was proven when a drunken freshman was arrested at the fountain by University Police last week. The freshman, who remains unidentified, was just returning from his first party. According to partygoers, he......

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Planned Parenthood funding reattributed to defense spending

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015August 25, 2019

September 29, 2015August 25, 2019

PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist Much controversy has recently surrounded the decision to defund Planned Parenthood. The organization is well-known for its abortion services — though those services are only 3 percent of all that Planned Parenthood offers. Now that the almost $600 million organization has been defunded by the......

Scallion

Getting away with murder: drama at the Emmy’s

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015

September 29, 2015

ANITA DOLLAH Special to the Lampoon Sunday night’s 67th Emmy award ceremony brought into fruition a number of acting firsts. Jon Hamm earned his first Emmy after being snubbed for more nominations than he has fingers, proving himself just as “Unbreakable” as his role on “Kimmy Schmidt.” HBO’s “Veep” made......

Scallion

Fred Onia’s Fall fashion line plays with bad taste

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 29, 2015September 1, 2019

September 29, 2015September 1, 2019

COKO SHAN ELLE Special to The Lampoon The temperature is dropping and so are our mouths over Fred Onia’s new fall collection. This line is gonna be hot, hot, hot — even though it will be rainy and cold outside. I asked the designer himself at the preview show......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

Sophomore tries to close Dod’s Hall, says ‘the freshman 15 is inevitable’

As seen on Yik Yak ‘Netflix and chill’ chills hearts of moral Fredonians

Lions, tigers, and weresquirrels

Next season of ‘Survivor’ will take place on Mars

Drastic price hike comes at drastic cost Martin Shkreli gets financial AIDS

Horoscopes Week 6

Drunk freshman swears he’s ‘not that drunk’

Planned Parenthood funding reattributed to defense spending

Getting away with murder: drama at the Emmy’s

Fred Onia’s Fall fashion line plays with bad taste