The Leader

[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesNIKKI INDELICATO Special to the Leader BREAKING NEWS:  Recent rumors surrounding the greatest group of Avengers of all time have been confirmed by Marvel President Kevin Feige: the Great Lake Avengers will finally be making their debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The story follows Mr. Immortal (played by Djimon...

[SATIRE] Why learning a second language is probably not a good idea

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesCHLOE KOWALYK Staff Writer It would be awful to learn a second language. Take it from a gal who knows.  Research suggests that learning another language helps improve memory. Why would I want to do that? To make room for more memories like my last prom date rejection?  No thank...

[SATIRE] A letter from the WHAT: Fredonia immunity and you

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesLYDIA TURCIOS Guest Scallywag Salutations, students! To the student body of SUNY Fredonia comes breaking news from the World Headquarters for Alternate Treatment. If you cannot get your hands on any of the currently available COVID-19 vaccines, you’re in luck! Your campus is under review to be an immunity hotspot!...

[SATIRE] Dumpster on campus mistaken for conceptual art piece

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALYSSA BUMPLife & Arts Editor The dumpster behind Gregory Hall (yes… that dumpster) has drawn in a flock of art critics to campus.  This latest piece was thought to be one of the most innovative sculptures on campus yet. I know what you’re thinking, how could anything be more innovative...

BRIAN CECALA IS THE NEW CHIEF OF FREDONIA U.P. AND HE HAS NEW RULES

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA KING OF FREDONIA WHAT’S UP ASSH*LES. FOR APRIL FOOLS POLICE NOTTERS, THE CHIEF OF POLICE SAID I COULD BE THE POLICE CHIEF AND HE WOULD WRITE A FUNNY ARTICLE. HOWEVER, I PULLED AN APRIL PRANK. I HAVE STATED SOME NEW RULES FOR ALL FREDONIA STUDENTS. NEW RULE 1...

[SATIRE] Admin debates how to tell President Kolison about FredFest

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAMES MEAD Editor, Barely Managing to Write This Semester Well, it’s almost that time of the semester, and FredFest is on everyone’s minds — everyone but SUNY Fredonia’s new president, that is. FredFest, an annual Fredonia tradition where college students raise money in support of their unhealthy alcohol habits, was...

President Kolison to announce two mental health days

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJESSICA MEDITZ Editor in Chief After hearing the concerns of students and the circulation of an online petition, there will be two days in April in which all classes will be canceled. April 13 and 21, described as “mental health days,” are intended to help relieve the stress inflicted onto...

[SATIRE] Look out Fredonia Twitter, The Leader’s making some changes

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Editor of the Scallion and MtS fanboy To say that the internet is a mixed bag would be an understatement. There are trolls and memers, there are political extremists getting into scraps with everyday citizens and most importantly, there are spheres of fandom that revolve entirely around the...

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