[SATIRE] Statement Regarding King Charles’s Cancer Diagnosis
Reading Time: < 1 minuteTHE SCALLION TEAM Princess Diana Enthusiasts ¯\_(ツ)_/¯...
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My qualms with pocketless clothing
Reading Time: 3 minutesISABELLA INZINNA Staff Writer There’s an age-old issue that anyone who wears women’s clothes struggles with. Something that, for whatever reason, we can’t seem to fix. An issue that many people are very familiar with: Pockets. Everyone loves pockets, they’re very handy. With a good pocket, you can eliminate the......
[SATIRE] A football guide for Swifties
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATT VOLZ Sports Editor I used to be the only one who liked football and Taylor Swift. I can remember a time where I wore my Josh Allen jersey and Taylor-inspired friendship bracelets, confusing the heck out of everyone who passed by. I was the one and only “Football Swiftie,”......
[COMIC] MoMA
Reading Time: < 1 minuteNICOLE THORSON Art Director...
[SATIRE] PLEASE write for the Scallion
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Photo by Element5 Digital | Courtesy of Pexels Dear Witty Wordsmiths and Hilarious Humans, Greetings from the Headquarters of The Scallion, the renowned newspaper section that tickles funny bones and stimulates chuckles on a daily basis! We hope this letter finds you in a state of......
[SATIRE] Horoscopes 5/3
Reading Time: 2 minutesJACE JACOBSGuest Scallywag, Semi-Pro Interpreter of the Stars This month the stars have some wisdom for the signs on where they’ll meet their soulmates. Keep an eye out for platonic and romantic vibes alike! Aries: As soon as the alien invasion happens, that’s where you’ll find your soulmate. Only someone......
[SCALLION] New Fall 2023 Courses We Highly Recommend
Reading Time: 3 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Assistant Scallion Editor EJ JACOBS Assistant Life and Arts Editor Spring has sprung at Fredonia! It’s now that special time of the semester where people scramble to pick a class that isn’t full and meets the requirements that you need. Luckily, we’ve found some hidden gem classes Fredonia......
[SATIRE] 03.08.23 Horoscopes
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hello Fredonia! I’m feeling inspired by The Leader’s Managing Editor Chloe Kowalyk’s idea: what pasta type are you? Aries: Linguine. In your heart, you are just a stranger, bigger noodle than most other noodles. Taurus: Bucatini. You try hard to be better than everyone else. Sometimes it......
[COMIC] Free Man Hill Water Problem
Reading Time: < 1 minuteRYAN LUDU Special to The Leader...
[SATIRE] The REAL Reason Behind Fredonia’s Boil Water Advisory
Reading Time: 2 minutesOLIVIA SYLVESTER Special to The Leader Last week, every Fredonia student and resident was troubled by a boil water advisory. We couldn’t drink the water, brush our teeth with it or, worst of all, get our favorite Starbucks drink! Now, the people who work in the water treatment facility will......