The Scallion - Page 14 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

[SATIRE] Why I’m pissed we have to wear masks

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2021September 16, 2021

September 16, 2021September 16, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag If you live in the United States, or maybe even other places, I’m sure you’ve heard we have to wear masks. This mandate has been in place for a while and it’s caused a bit of a stir. Well, I’ve been ruminating; I don’t think it’s a......

Scallion Uncategorized

[SATIRE] I’m going to lose my marbles: My journey from one job to the next

Contributor to The LeaderSeptember 16, 2021September 21, 2021

September 16, 2021September 21, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Editor to the Scallion For many of us here at SUNY Fredonia, this summer was a trial. Our collective patience, strength and mental fortuity was tested day in or day out. I understand this exhausting feat firsthand, as I served as a camp counselor in the middle of......

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Totally true story of the “FRED” sign

Jules HoeptingSeptember 10, 2021September 9, 2021

September 10, 2021September 9, 2021

JULES HOEPTING Managing Editor This is the satire section of the paper, but everything I am about to tell you is totally true — not exaggerated at all. Really. As one of the head editors, I deemed this topic too comical to put in any other section. All summer, I......

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You’re fully vaxxed now! You can kiss and hold hands!

Contributor to The LeaderMay 17, 2021May 17, 2021

May 17, 2021May 17, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag I gotta say, I am so freaking excited to be talking about holding hands without feeling bad about it. I don’t know if anyone else remembers, but I love talking about holding hands and maybe kissing. I especially still hold a love for the Willy C’s silhouettes,......

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[SATIRE] Congress members found at Ghost Club

Contributor to The LeaderMay 14, 2021May 9, 2021

May 14, 2021May 9, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag A group of Congress members known for being part of the “America First Caucus” were found gleefully running around in the woods in white costumes. They were frolicking around a fire that had a giant wooden “T” in the middle of it. When asked about why......

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Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderMay 10, 2021May 9, 2021

May 10, 2021May 9, 2021

HANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag the signs as stuff in fredonia aries: Sunny’s taurus: strawberry lemonade from Starbucks gemini: Uppercrust cancer: Reed Library leo: the clock tower virgo: Canadaway Street libra: overpriced sweatshirt at the bookstore scorpio: Muldoon’s sagittarius: Tuscany capricorn: the F in Fredonia that got stolen that one time ......

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[SATIRE] Fredonia student starting squirrel club

Jules HoeptingMay 9, 2021May 16, 2021

May 9, 2021May 16, 2021

JULES HOEPTING Design Editor Jodee Doe was sipping on coffee on the Starbucks patio when she beheld a sight that inspired her: a squirrel perched on a bicycle while consuming bread. The squirrel’s fascinating behavior reminded Doe of her friend, John Smith, who chose to attend Cornell University over SUNY......

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Catching up with Geraldine, SUNY Fredonia’s first gecko student

Contributor to The LeaderMay 6, 2021May 7, 2021

May 6, 2021May 7, 2021

MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor It’s been over a year since we’ve had the luxury of meeting and talking with Geraldine Wilcox and her former roommate, Savannah, and we at the Scallion wanted to hear how this dynamic duo has been handling the 2020-21 school year, given all that’s happened. When......

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[SATIRE] A list of my NFTs

Contributor to The LeaderMay 1, 2021April 25, 2021

May 1, 2021April 25, 2021

JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Hey there. Just wanted to post an article showing how absolutely ridiculously baller I am. Unfortunately, I was told I have to actually give you a definition of what an NFT is, and I can hardly even describe it myself despite being the most successful NFT owner......

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Police Notters (Relatable Style)

Contributor to The LeaderApril 29, 2021April 29, 2021

April 29, 2021April 29, 2021

BRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag University Police understands that tensions between police and civilians are at an all-time high. The Fredonia police wanted to make the notters something we can all enjoy. So for today’s edition of the notters, the team decided to add some memes into the reports to spice......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

[SATIRE] Why I’m pissed we have to wear masks

[SATIRE] I’m going to lose my marbles: My journey from one job to the next

Totally true story of the “FRED” sign

You’re fully vaxxed now! You can kiss and hold hands!

[SATIRE] Congress members found at Ghost Club

Horoscopes

[SATIRE] Fredonia student starting squirrel club

Catching up with Geraldine, SUNY Fredonia’s first gecko student

[SATIRE] A list of my NFTs

Police Notters (Relatable Style)