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Fredonia NY
April 26, 2025
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 Theater kids are taking over Fredonia

Rating every 2025 Oscar award-winning movie 

President Trump signs orders dismantling eight departments 

[SATIRE] Fear and Loathing in Talladega: A Journey to Beer-Soaked…

[SCALLION/NEWS] Campus bus leaves students traumatized

[SATIRE/NEWS] Police Notters

Executive Vice President and Provost Dr. David Starrett abruptly leaves…

[SATIRE] Abigail Jacobson, news editor, cancels news

[SCALLION/SPORTS] Volz enlisted to help suffering Sabres

[SCALLION/NEWS] All hail the new era: The Scallion has taken…

The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] A ‘beacon of hope:’ Metaverse shows signs of benefiting society at large

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor Recent discussions regarding the upcoming VR-accessible Metaverse are making it clear that this project will provide much-needed relief to countless American lives.  When Ronnie Caschernian, also known as @Big_Eth_Daddy808 on Twitter, invested in Bitcoin with money granted to him in his grandmother’s will, he had no......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] These are my thoughts and you’re going to read them

Contributor to The Leader
JAY BYRONStaff Scallywag So, the Scallion, huh? Isn’t it fun? A little silly? Whatever. Anyway, point is, I’m writing some stuff and I don’t care what you think because I’m a little punk. Chicken Fingers. They’re a bit tasty, but you absolutely have to get them from the right place.......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] BREAKING: Ariana Grande and Starbucks to collaborate even more annoyingly than Justin Bieber and Tim Horton’s

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Scallion Editor In a move that has surprised literally nobody, Starbucks has found another way to bring despair into the lives of consumers everywhere.  Following the announcement of the Justin Bieber and Tim Horton’s collaboration — with the pop artist’s agents definitely having spun a wheel of nonsense......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What leftover candy gives off the same vibe as your sign?

Contributor to The Leader
MATTHEW BAUM Editor of the Scallion and Confectionery Connoisseur  Aries: You give off big Milky Way energy. You have a tendency to approach things in your life very head-on, and that’s fine, but some will be taken aback by your straightforwardness. Taurus: Alright, now this is interesting! You’re off the......
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