The Scallion - Page 32 of 82 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Fredonia unveils not at all anticipated new slogan

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 27, 2019April 9, 2019

March 27, 2019April 9, 2019

SOPHIA MOORE Guest to the Scallion After minutes of deliberation from a committee of over three people, Fredonia now has a new slogan called “Fredonia: It’s What You Expect!” The slogan committee consisted of two theatre arts majors, a communications student and an English minor who all met in......

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Tim Hortons suffers macaroni shortage

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 27, 2019August 25, 2019

March 27, 2019August 25, 2019

Dom Magistro Staff Scallywag The Tim Hortons on campus is suffering from a shortage of bagged mac and cheese after a patron refused to leave until having eaten every prepackaged portion of the gooey substance. Gabriel Breeze has single-handedly eaten over 400 servings of macaroni and cheese this week......

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Assistant Scallion Editor struggles to think of another article involving Il Diavolo Blu

Contributor to The LeaderMarch 20, 2019August 25, 2019

March 20, 2019August 25, 2019

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Assistant Scallion Editor The handsome and charming Assistant Scallion Editor, Joseph Marciniak, struggled to find another joke about Il Diavolo Blu. According to sources, this one’s been milked dry. “The baked ziti monster joke is done, already made the Russian food joke,” the great Joseph Marciniak......

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Thousands protest Punxsutawney Phil for incorrect prediction for spring

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 27, 2019April 9, 2019

February 27, 2019April 9, 2019

SOPHIA MOORE Guest to the Scallion Feb. 2 came and went this year, but thousands were packed into Phil’s temporary home of Gobbler’s Knob anxiously awaiting the groundhog’s decision. His verdict was in, and the crowd celebrated for more weeks of winter. Unfortunately, Phil might be out of a......

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Citrus family sues Colbert for defamation of character

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 27, 2019August 25, 2019

February 27, 2019August 25, 2019

DOM MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag Stephen Colbert, host of “The Late Show,” recently replied to Donald Trump on Twitter with the words “orange man” in reference to the President’s artificial tan. There is backlash from Florida as a coalition of 32 citrus farmers threaten litigation for defamation of character. “Mr.......

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Baked ziti monster terrorizes Centre Point employees

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 20, 2019

February 20, 2019

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Assistant Editor of the Scallion The FSA cafes are soon going to be serving Italian foods, according to the General Manager of Important things. “We saw the great, really great, feedback about Il Diavolo Blu, and we’ve decided to continue selling more baked ziti,” John Johnson, General Manager......

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Police Notters

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 20, 2019August 25, 2019

February 20, 2019August 25, 2019

Friday, Feb. 8 PEPRE Process found dead Friday afternoon. In related case, campus morale has gone missing. Saturday, Feb. 9 Police called to Tim Horton’s to investigate multiple packages of Roll Up the Rim cups stolen. Spokesman estimates that the thief may have gotten away with a......

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Virginia Horvath harnesses power of sky, claims ‘Dragon Prince’ as inspiration

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 20, 2019April 9, 2019

February 20, 2019April 9, 2019

DOM MAGISTRO Staff Scallywag Clean energy is a rising source of power, and President Virginia Horvath is not going to be left behind. Recently, the president has been seen lowering carbon emissions by riding a bicycle around campus. Not only has she been using her bike more, but......

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Ask Fairy Godmother: Your place to bippity bappity bitch

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 13, 2019August 15, 2019

February 13, 2019August 15, 2019

Dear Fairy Godmother, Valentines Day is coming up and I’m not sure how to celebrate. I’ve been so busy since starting school that I haven’t had time to even think about dating or relationships. I’m probably just going to buy some cheap chocolate the day after and wallow in......

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Trump baffles climate change scientists with tweet asking “Where’s global warming?”

Contributor to The LeaderFebruary 13, 2019September 9, 2019

February 13, 2019September 9, 2019

JOSEPH MARCINIAK Assistant Editor of the Scallion A recent tweet from President Trump has baffled climate change scientists and brought them into a panic. Climate change scientists have begun questioning everything they thought they knew. The tweet was simple, but effective. President Trump said, “Real cold in the North......

From the Desk of Chloe Kowalyk: Editor in Chief

From the Desk of EJ Jacobs: Life & Arts Editor

From the Desk of Jace Jacobs: Asst. Scallion Editor

From the Desk of Nicole Thorson: Art Director

From the Desk of Henry Domst: Design Editor

From the Desk of Sierra Mills: Chief Copy Editor

[SATIRE] An interview with The Bachelor’s winner, Henry Domst

[OPINION] What COVID-19 inadvertently taught us

ITS unveils stratigic plan for technology

Dr. Kathryn Kendall takes on enrollment

Fredonia unveils not at all anticipated new slogan

Tim Hortons suffers macaroni shortage

Assistant Scallion Editor struggles to think of another article involving Il Diavolo Blu

Thousands protest Punxsutawney Phil for incorrect prediction for spring

Citrus family sues Colbert for defamation of character

Baked ziti monster terrorizes Centre Point employees

Police Notters

Virginia Horvath harnesses power of sky, claims ‘Dragon Prince’ as inspiration

Ask Fairy Godmother: Your place to bippity bappity bitch

Trump baffles climate change scientists with tweet asking “Where’s global warming?”