October 27, 2026
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The Leader
Scallion

Hair dye shortage causes local stressed student to freak out

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag Ellie Hollis, a freshman theater production and design major, has reached a new low. Her hair, a neat green-blue at the end, has started to show its true dirty-blonde color. It’s been three weeks since she re-dyed her roots, and she’s about to lose it. “I’m......
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Scallion

Fredonia responds to UB transfer ad by putting own ads in UB newspaper

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAK Editor of the Scallion After seeing a controversial new ad out in The Leader newspaper, the Fredonia faculty board decided to retaliate in a story for the ages. The ad was a simple yet striking one, saying “You should be here. Transfer today.” In fact, you can flip......
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Scallion

“Are YOU the person committing arson in Mason Hall?”

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Andy Arson, sophomore communication major with a minor in “Spongebob” “F is for fires that we start in Mason U is for University Police N is for no witnesses anywhere down here in Mason Hall.” Mason Fire-Starter, senior pyro major with a minor in lying “Dude,......
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Scallion

It’s officially moronic clothing choice season once again

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag With the first snowfall taking place last week, there was a lot of hustle and bustle of college students that have apparently never seen snow before. The next generation of American minds looked up in horror to behold the one thing they could never be prepared......
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Scallion

Hi everyone, it’s me, the editor of the Scallion, but this time, I’ve got muscles! An open letter to the school

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Big Muscular Editor of the Scallion For years, I have strived to be a man with muscles. I usually walk around with noodle arms like many others. But my friends, I have some news. I, Joseph Marciniak, now have big muscles. As you can see by the image......
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Scallion

New Google Street View car crashes because manufacturer forgot to install Google Drive

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesCOREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Breaking news: Florida man who drove Google Street View car with the supposed purpose of updating Google Maps crashed into an alligator this past Sunday. The man, Steri O. Type was found shirtless on the side of the road, tussling with the great beast. “What hath......
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Scallion

“How do YOU feel about underage drinking on campus?”

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Jack Daniels, sophomore chemistry major “According to my Rhode Island license, it is legal for me to drink … so does that count as underage?” Bailey Hennessy, freshman party girl with a concentration in strawberry Burnett’s “What the RAs don’t know won’t hurt them. Let the......
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Scallion

Mother uproots Fredonia student’s family to follow her daughter to school

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Staff Scallywag One of the biggest concerns most college students have is that they will be too distant from their family. The move to campus is fun, and opportunities open up for those who attend university, but it’s quite an abrupt change from being able to see your......
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