October 26, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

Would you kill these babies? New York Times poll sparks questions of infant mortality

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist   A couple weeks ago The New York Times asked its readers what they would do when faced with a purely theoretical ethical dilemma. Their question? “If you could go back in time and kill baby Hitler, would you do it?” Interestingly enough, the top answer was......
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Scallion

America outdoes China United States creates 15-child policy

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  PHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist   Since 1979, China’s one-child policy tilted the scales of birth. Some may say, “But Phyllis! There’s more than one child in China! That policy must not have been effective!” Those people, however, are misinformed. This one-child policy dictated that parents could have no more......
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Scallion

Meat-free Fredonia Fredonia eliminates all meat products after WHO report

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist   Recently the World Health Organization announced that processed meat is classified as a carcinogen on par with tobacco use. This news has raised major health concerns nationwide. While the rest of the United States is still figuring out how to handle the issue, Fredonia has reacted......
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Scallion

More students claim free tuition as pedestrian car accidents on campus rise

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist   Poor college students will do literally anything to get money. This includes getting run over by cars. Don’t be shocked if you are driving your 2008 Prius and suddenly see a crazed-looking peer standing in the middle of the road. Your first instinct might be......
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Scallion

Star Wars

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesSTU PADIDDY Certified Racist   White America this week is up in arms about the new “Star Wars: Episode VII” trailer — and, more specifically, the race of the main character. Apparently, when George Lucas sold the “Star Wars” franchise to Disney, he also sold the saga’s Aryan validity. According......
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Scallion

As Seen on Yik Yak Fredonia reveals plans for new ‘Student Zoo’

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor   Fredonia has almost everything its students could want: There’s a gazebo, a fountain, benches and more. This may seem like a fantasy for college students to some, but the administrators never stop thinking of new ways to improve the campus. That’s why officials announced their......
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