The Leader
Scallion

Davis comes out to Pope in secret meeting

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist   Recently it was leaked, and then later confirmed, that Pope Francis had a secret meeting with infamous Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis. Yes, she’s the one who refused to give out marriage licenses to gay couples. The meeting was announced by Davis’ lawyer, but was not......
Scallion

Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner face off in competitive venn diagram

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist   The trans community has earned a lot of recognition in recent years. Although 2015 saw the release of “Stonewall,” the whitewashed story of a cisgender male that deviates almost entirely from the true events of the Stonewall Riots, our generation has recently been exposed to......
Scallion

Same sex marriage destroys sanctity of marriage Gay couples challenge ideas of unhappiness

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor   We were all warned about how gay marriage would ruin marriage for the normal people. After Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark court case that ensured gay marriage would be legal in all 50 states, lives of straight Americans have been ultimately uprooted. The traditional rule......
Scallion

Sophomore tries to close Dod’s Hall, says ‘the freshman 15 is inevitable’

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist   The uproar on social media Tuesday night following an “emergency in Dod’s Hall and Parking Lot 10” left many questions in the minds of Fredonia students. Why are we on lockdown? Was Wall-E really on campus? Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was that walking around......
Scallion

Drastic price hike comes at drastic cost Martin Shkreli gets financial AIDS

Reading Time: 2 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor   According to BBC, Martin Shkreli is “the most hated man in America” after he raised the price on Daraprim, a medication used to treat those with weakened immune systems. After he raised the price from $13.50 to $750 per pill, Shkreli faces some unforeseen consequences.......
Scallion

Drunk freshman swears he’s ‘not that drunk’

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Special to The Lampoon   Some people just can’t hold their liquor — especially freshmen. Such was proven when a drunken freshman was arrested at the fountain by University Police last week. The freshman, who remains unidentified, was just returning from his first party. According to partygoers, he......

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