The Scallion - Page 78 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

As Seen on Yik Yak: Come to Grissom … if you dare

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 20, 2015

October 20, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Staff Lampoonist Sometimes there are too many skeletons in the closet — or in this case, a common room. You all know Grissom Hall, made infamous for its “come to Grissom” reference. Deep within the upper floors of Grissom, there holds a secret that only few people......

Scallion

Jim Webb becomes Democratic frontrunner on internet polls

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 20, 2015August 25, 2019

October 20, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist CNN and Facebook hosted the Democratic debate on Tuesday, Oct. 13. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Senator Bernie Sanders, Former Governor of Maryland Martin O’Malley and Lincoln Chafee, a political reincarnation of Peewee Herman, met to discuss their platforms and issues for the country......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 13, 2015August 15, 2019

October 13, 2015August 15, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Lampoonist Capricorn Capricorn? More like Capri-CORNY. You will be subjected to heavy doses of cheesy humor if you continue your regular routine. Switch it up to avoid persistent psyche-damaging humor. Aquarius Be wary of your surroundings, Aquarius. You will encounter many heartbroken friends and companions this......

Scallion

Fredonia plague has left campus in a state of panic

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 13, 2015

October 13, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesMISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Most of you have heard about the recent outbreak of the Fredonia plague and have been doing everything you can to not get it. Many students have even dropped out of college due to fear of catching this venomous plague. If you are lucky enough,......

Scallion

Davis comes out to Pope in secret meeting

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 13, 2015August 25, 2019

October 13, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMO Staff Lampoonist Recently it was leaked, and then later confirmed, that Pope Francis had a secret meeting with infamous Kentucky County Clerk Kim Davis. Yes, she’s the one who refused to give out marriage licenses to gay couples. The meeting was announced by Davis’ lawyer, but was not......

Scallion

Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner face off in competitive venn diagram

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 13, 2015

October 13, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist The trans community has earned a lot of recognition in recent years. Although 2015 saw the release of “Stonewall,” the whitewashed story of a cisgender male that deviates almost entirely from the true events of the Stonewall Riots, our generation has recently been exposed to......

Scallion

Same sex marriage destroys sanctity of marriage Gay couples challenge ideas of unhappiness

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 13, 2015August 25, 2019

October 13, 2015August 25, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor We were all warned about how gay marriage would ruin marriage for the normal people. After Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark court case that ensured gay marriage would be legal in all 50 states, lives of straight Americans have been ultimately uprooted. The traditional rule......

Scallion

Sophomore tries to close Dod’s Hall, says ‘the freshman 15 is inevitable’

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesPHYLLIS T. CUPP Lampoonist The uproar on social media Tuesday night following an “emergency in Dod’s Hall and Parking Lot 10” left many questions in the minds of Fredonia students. Why are we on lockdown? Was Wall-E really on campus? Which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle was that walking around......

Scallion

As seen on Yik Yak ‘Netflix and chill’ chills hearts of moral Fredonians

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutes EMMO Special to the Lampoon Students demand the truth. They won’t stand for the lies and deception anymore. The cause of this commotion? “Netflix and chill.” If you have never used the internet before, “Netflix and chill” is defined by knowyourmeme.com as a slang term that refers to inviting......

Scallion

Lions, tigers, and weresquirrels

Contributor to The LeaderOctober 7, 2015

October 7, 2015

Reading Time: 2 minutesTHE FEVER Special to the Lampoon We all know the story of werewolves being unleashed on full moons and opposing all things silver. But did you know that on blood moons, like the one two Sundays ago is when the weresquirrels emerge? Since the super blood moon eclipse on......

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As Seen on Yik Yak: Come to Grissom … if you dare

Jim Webb becomes Democratic frontrunner on internet polls

Horoscopes

Fredonia plague has left campus in a state of panic

Davis comes out to Pope in secret meeting

Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner face off in competitive venn diagram

Same sex marriage destroys sanctity of marriage Gay couples challenge ideas of unhappiness

Sophomore tries to close Dod’s Hall, says ‘the freshman 15 is inevitable’

As seen on Yik Yak ‘Netflix and chill’ chills hearts of moral Fredonians

Lions, tigers, and weresquirrels