Satire

Horoscopes

Leader AdSenseApril 26, 2021April 26, 2021

April 26, 2021April 26, 2021

Reading Time: < 1 minuteHANNAH BLIDY Staff Scallywag How the signs spend their mental health days aries: definitely not the homework they’ve been meaning to do since week 2 taurus: listening to chug jug with you 12 hour version gemini: playing modded minecraft for the entire day, only stopping to piss and eat pizza......

Scallion

I need to apologize…

Contributor to The LeaderApril 23, 2021April 23, 2021

April 23, 2021April 23, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag I did an oopsie guys. The article I posted about things in Fredonia that would kill Prince Philip went up on April 8. The following day he died of unknown circumstances. The legal statement from the Scallion says this is strictly coincidental, and the article did......

Scallion

[SATIRE] What is hiding inside of Thompson Hall? An investigation

Contributor to The LeaderApril 19, 2021April 19, 2021

April 19, 2021April 19, 2021

Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag While many of Fredonia’s mysteries may remain that way for a while, (the list goes on, but I’ll just quietly mention the Mason arsonist so I don’t have to talk about the dog food smell) I have one that I solved through the course of one day.......

Scallion

Stop saying I look like Jonah Hill 😡

Contributor to The LeaderApril 14, 2021April 12, 2021

April 14, 2021April 12, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag Hi guys, it’s me, Brian Cecala, local hero and writer for the Scallion. I was pawing through my fan mail recently (which I get a LOT of) and I noticed a trend. Lots of you guys write in to give me admiration and praise for my......

Scallion

[SATIRE] People need to be nicer to Jeff Bezos. He has money

Contributor to The LeaderApril 9, 2021April 9, 2021

April 9, 2021April 9, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag I’ve noticed a trend going around on the Twitters and the TikToks. I’m giving you a warning now: it’s a little disturbing. It’s called… “Eat the rich.” I think they’re referring to Jeff Bezos, since he is… the rich. I’m here to give my opinion on that......

Scallion

[SATIRE] Things at Fredonia that would probably kill Prince Philip

Contributor to The LeaderApril 8, 2021April 9, 2021

April 8, 2021April 9, 2021

Reading Time: 3 minutesBRIAN CECALA Staff Scallywag [EDITOR’S NOTE: This article was written a week before and published a day before Prince Philip died. The timing was not intentional, and The Leader staff expresses its best wishes to the royal family.] Prince Philip looks like he’s just barely hanging in there. Google him,......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 4, 2021April 4, 2021

April 4, 2021April 4, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM God of the Ocean (I still don’t know the order, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask, so here we go) VIRGO: You’ve got a lot of tension in your neck and shoulders. Take a minute to stretch your muscles a little. TAURUS: I’d like you......

Scallion

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Contributor to The LeaderApril 3, 2021March 30, 2021

April 3, 2021March 30, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONStaff Scallywag Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces...

Scallion

Fredonia announces new football team

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesRYAN DUNNINGWeb Editor You asked for it, and now it’s finally here: Fredonia is getting a football team! Because it was announced in the Fredonia Campus Report email from last week, it is likely that nobody heard about this development, but no need to worry, we have you covered. We......

Scallion

[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU

Contributor to The LeaderApril 2, 2021April 2, 2021

April 2, 2021April 2, 2021

Reading Time: 2 minutesNIKKI INDELICATO Special to the Leader BREAKING NEWS: Recent rumors surrounding the greatest group of Avengers of all time have been confirmed by Marvel President Kevin Feige: the Great Lake Avengers will finally be making their debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The story follows Mr. Immortal (played by Djimon......

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?

A playlist for each mood: Yearning

‘Tis the season to be spooky!

Athletes still fighting

Police Notter

Horoscopes

I need to apologize…

[SATIRE] What is hiding inside of Thompson Hall? An investigation

Stop saying I look like Jonah Hill 😡

[SATIRE] People need to be nicer to Jeff Bezos. He has money

[SATIRE] Things at Fredonia that would probably kill Prince Philip

Horoscopes

Horoscopes, special edition: Scallywag Brian Cecala’s old Facebook photos

Fredonia announces new football team

[SATIRE] The Great Lake Avengers are coming to the MCU