October 26, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] Pumpkin carving is on the rise: Going under the knife for human beauty

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 5 minutesJULES HOEPTING Design Editor  Pumpkin torture by means of carving needs to stop. This method of antagonizing is going stronger than ever; within the last month, over 60 million pumpkins were tortured by carving. In order to empathize with the pain millions of gourds face every year, I spoke with......
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Scallion

Uh oh, hot shot over here: This guy is going as three hole punch Jim for Halloween for the third year in a row

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesJAY BYRONGuest Scallywag What a wild upcoming Halloween! With political conflicts on the rise and COVID-19 clearing social events off the calendar, Halloween will be a lot more indoorsy than it has ever been. There is no better timing for people to do the bare minimum.  Fear not, for “this......
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Scallion

“So much for the tolerant left…” Racist says after leftist calls him a racist

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJAY BYRONGuest Scallywag We ask hard-hitting questions here at The Scallion.  One question we have been mulling over in our head since the dawn of time is: “Who is the snowflake?” We realize, though, that this may be too deep and difficult of a question to be asking in general.......
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Scallion

Trump is now officially the healthiest man on Earth according to scientists, according to Trump

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Well, resistance comrades, pack it up. We’re done. No celebrating Trump being dead anymore, because today on a Fox News interview, Trump announced that scientists are saying he’s the healthiest man on Earth.   That’s a big blow to me and my fellow resistors.  The interview, conducted......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Wow, thank you: FSA has been providing us with free penicillin in our food!

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor It’s no secret to the students here at SUNY Fredonia that our school’s first priority is the wellbeing of us as residents. We are provided expert medical care, our words have an impact on the culture at school and they have the decency to prepare......
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Scallion

Local English major starting to wonder when he’ll be good at writing

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor A local English student, Paul Crendal, has begun to wonder when his “good writing skills” will kick in, latest reports say. According to eyewitness reports, Crendal struggled to come up with even one solid opening sentence for his creative writing class while working in the library.......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Apple unveils new Water, Earth and Fire properties

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Assistant Scallion Editor On Sept. 15, Apple unveiled the new generation of iPad, the newly-upgraded iPad Air.  Tech nerds and Steve Jobs fanboys around the world were blown away by the initial announcement, but they failed to hear the more life-changing announcement that immediately followed it. It had......
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