October 27, 2026
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The Leader
Scallion

The Scallion responds: Willie C’s scathing cease and desist letter

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor Mr. C: It is with a heavy heart I respond to your letter calling us here at the Scallion “crass and inappropriate and altogether inaccurate.” Here at the Scallion, we strive to be accurate above all else. That is why I would like to meet......
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Scallion

Local student committed to doing essay after five more minutes of video game

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesCOREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Neva S. Tapp, a sophomore communication major who had not yet started his English class essay, was last seen playing “Borderlands 3” alone on his couch. When The Scallion inquired about Tapp’s intention to finish his schoolwork, Tapp noted that “Borderlands 3″ had only just come......
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Scallion

Local student really hoping they’re lucky enough to get cold chicken wings made several hours ago at Willy C’s

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag Willy C’s: the goddamn dungeon of overhyped fast food that lurks beneath the Williams Center. We’re all familiar with the long lines, the disturbing smell of despair and half-furnished basement and the television screen of hypnotic and meaninglessly-color-coded numbers. But we still go. We still hope......
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Scallion

Pelosi: ‘Concentration camps acceptable, but we draw the line at investigating Biden’

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor An impeachment inquiry has begun as a result of a whistleblower complaint. The whistleblower complains that Trump asked the Ukranian prime minister to investigate Biden. Pelosi and House Democrats draw the line there. No one messes with Joe. “There are just some actions that are......
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Scallion

Student ends cyberbullying, deletes social media

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesDOM MAGISTRO Assistant Scallion Editor You heard it here first, folks. After weeks spent dreading logging into Facebook, Frederick Drain has taken action against his aggressors. Ever since he went to class wearing a full suit of armor, clanging and creaking down the halls, other students referred to him as......
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Scallion

Better late than never: Here’s what went down at the Democratic Presidential Debate in June

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Scallion Editor Twenty candidates for the Democratic ticket for president went head-to-head in June, and it was intense. We’re super late, but here’s some highlights from that debate if you still care. Arguably the most important person running, Bill de Blasio, probably said something about beating Donald Trump.......
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Scallion

“What’s YOUR favorite part about Willy C’s?”

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Christopher Robin, freshman who still gets lost on campus major “The pasta station … wait, that’s Cranston.” Bradley Preston Harrington III, sophomore sports management major with a minor in frat-ology “Uhhhh … I don’t know. The tables are great for beer die, I guess. Die up,......
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Scallion

Free-spirited Fredonia architect is at it again: ‘Excelsior Cafe’ is coming to Rockefeller

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag Ahmelia Schitt is something of a rockstar in the college-campus design circles, and she’s back in town. In an exclusive interview on Thursday, she announced that she would be designing a new eatery on-campus, with a literal twist. For those who have gone all this time......
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