October 27, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

Surreal Baldwin portrayal replaces surreal president at WHCD

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesEMMA PATTERSON Staff Lampoonist   He’s back, folks! Alec Baldwin, the actor most notably known for his surreal portrayal of Donald Trump on “Saturday Night Live” (among other roles, but let’s be real, this is his best), is slated to replace Trump at the head of the White House Correspondents’......
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Scallion

NASA sells flights to new Trump-free planets

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Lampoonist   President Donald Trump’s inauguration was a little over a month ago, and since then, the horror story that has recently been our government has rightfully been coined, “too much power for too tiny of hands.” In fact, Trump’s interest in nuclear war has given many......
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Scallion

Amazon Echo calls your ex for you

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  JACLYN SPIEZIA Staff Lampoonist   As the exploding Samsung Galaxy S7 news has phased out, reports suggest that a new cellphone phenomenon has started to take place. The Amazon Echo, which is designed around voice control, has exhibited an originally unidentified feature. After hours of listening to you bitch......
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Scallion

Drake’s new album filled with tears: Fans drown in Drake’s rich melancholy

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   Before he was wheelchair Jimmy, Aubrey Drake Graham, or Drake, told his “Degrassi: The Next Generation” co-stars he would one day release an album that was literally filled with tears. That day came last Friday as Drake released “I’m Sad. Hear Me Out. Pass the......
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Scallion

Missiles leak out of North Korea’s arsenal: The harder you hop the farther it goes

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutes  PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   This past week, news is more depressing than the traditional brutalist architecture on campus leaked out over the internet: North Korea has missiles. However, these missiles aren’t harmful in the slightest. They can actually be used for wildly entertaining purposes. In a chilling call......
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