October 26, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

The stone-cold war: Obama and Putin engaged in a passive-aggressive war

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor   The United States and Russia have had a long love-hate relationship with one another. Today is no exception. From teaming up in World War II to constantly fearing nuclear war with each other, Presidents Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin have now ushered in a new......
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Scallion

Pummeled to the POTUS: Presidency will be determined through a tag team cage match

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor   Get ready for the rumble of a lifetime folks, because “red state” will soon have a whole new meaning. World Wrestling Entertainment has announced that it has signed a contract to determine the next president of the United States. A new approach is being taken......
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Scallion

New library printers lead to robot uprising

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesV. RAVIOLI Staff Lampoonist        As is well known to all Fredonia students, the world this past year has been nothing short of a calamity — one disaster after another without any foreseeable sign of resolution. With no hope left for humanity, the long-mocked prophecy of sci-fi writers throughout......
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Scallion

Record-breaking bee deaths leads to drop in Honey Nut Cheerio production

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesV. RAVIOLI Staff Lampoonist   Devastating news has been going around about the recent Zika spraying that inadvertently killed off millions of honeybees. What was intended to be a heroic effort toward the destruction of the Zika virus in the U.S. has tragically resulted in an unbelievable drop in honey......
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Scallion

ElectionSlam 2016: Presidency to be determined through tag-team cage match

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor   Get ready for the rumble of a lifetime folks, because “red state” will soon have a whole new meaning. World Wrestling Entertainment has announced that it has signed a contract to determine the next president of the United States. A new approach is being taken......
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Scallion

A thank you letter from your colon: Recent sewage disaster forces campus-wide Willy C fast

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesV. RAVIOLI Staff Lampoonist    Dear Innkeeper,   As you know, we essentially have one of the most intimate relationships anyone can ever experience. You’ve shared your deepest darkest desires with me, whether I asked to know them or not. One of which, if you don’t mind me mentioning, is......
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Scallion

Making Kaepernickuragua great again: Quarterback turns conquistador, gets own country

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   Lately, all the rage and the subject of American grandmothers’ posts have revolved around San Fransisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick, a Scorpio from birth, sat during the national anthem during a pre-season NFL game. People at the stadium were enjoying their day at the......
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Scallion

If you can’t beat them, join them: Top Republicans abandon the GOP

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor   In this election year, every day ushers some new and wild story. After months of a rocky and uncertain alliance, prominent members of the Republican Party have decided to change their voter registration to the Democratic Party. Prominent conservatives like House Speaker Paul Ryan and......
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