The Scallion - Page 67 of 88 - The Leader, SUNY Fredonia's student-run newspaper

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2016August 15, 2019

April 22, 2016August 15, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesJESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist Aries Start growing your beard. If you’re not a man, grow it even larger than your male counterparts to combat the patriarchy. Taurus Buy a barrel. Go to Niagara Falls. Step into the barrel. Let the river take you down. Become famous forever. Gemini You will find......

Scallion

Countdown to FWIMFest #1: Preparation and Expectations

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2016

April 22, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor When the Fredonia administration canceled FREDFest, the students were left uncertain of the fate of the first weekend in May. Last year, the term “FWIMFest” (or First Weekend in May Fest) was coined, and the celebration known by all students at Fredonia was continued —......

Scallion

Web Exclusive: American Idol renewed for Season 16 Show to feature new pottery-of-the-idols theme

Contributor to The LeaderApril 22, 2016

April 22, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesMISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist “American Idol” is far from over, with FOX renewing the show for its 16th season. This season will be nothing like the ones before, however. The theme is officially being changed from a singing competition to a pottery-making competition. The chosen potters will not......

Scallion

A letter to fifth-year students

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016August 17, 2019

April 17, 2016August 17, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesRILEY STRAW Lampoon Editor To Fredonia students and alumni, When I was a freshman, I thought that college was going to be a haven for new experiences — that I’d be able to drink on the weekends for more nights than society deems “acceptable.” When my grades slipped......

Scallion

The Fredonia Files Mossack Fredonia encourages students to evade college tuition

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016

April 17, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesJESSICA D’NONSENS Lampoonist The Panama Papers scandal has unleashed a furor of other secrets that large, wealthy businesses have held from the public. Mossack Fredonia recently came clean about the Fredonia Files — papers that prove wealthy students at Fredonia are keeping funds in offshore banking accounts as a......

Scallion

Tay is not O.K. Microsoft’s chatbot reveals need for sensitivity training in high schools

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016

April 17, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesV. RAVIOLI Staff Lampoonist The brazen tweets of a recently famous artificial intelligence (AI) have captured the attention of parents and educators worldwide. She has proven that sensitivity and ethics training need to begin much earlier than the workplace. Microsoft proposed the idea of creating a chatbot that aimed......

Scallion

Rage over wage Adults unhappy with $15 minimum wage raise

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016

April 17, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Assistant Lampoon Editor In a bold move, Gov. Andrew Cuomo has signed into law a measure that will gradually raise the hourly minimum wage in New York to $15 via wage hikes. California signed a similar bill moments later. The signing of this bill will provide low-income......

Scallion

The dangers of being sarcastic after college Man shot, but he sort of asked for it

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016September 2, 2019

April 17, 2016September 2, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesTRAVIS LEFEVRE Assistant Lampoon Editor In a dramatic turn of events, a man was shot in his shoulder after a conflict in a bar. The victim, 22-year-old Jason Daville, was described as “sarcastic and had it comin’.” Old Main Inn, a popular watering hole in Fredonia, saw a heavy......

Scallion

Horoscopes

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016August 15, 2019

April 17, 2016August 15, 2019

Reading Time: 2 minutesMISSY FEOLA Staff Lampoonist Aries It’s time to face the cold, dark truth: Winter is never-ending. Summer will never come. It is the winter of your life, so bundle up and shut up about the sun. Taurus Buy yourself some dog food air fresheners for your car for......

Scallion

Move ova’, ’Nova Syracuse wins March Madness

Contributor to The LeaderApril 17, 2016

April 17, 2016

Reading Time: 2 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Special to the Lampoon With less than five seconds left on the clock, University of North Carolina (UNC) tied the game against Villanova. It was the championship game. The end of March Madness. It was every dad with two kids and a wife in the suburbs’ favorite......

Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?

A playlist for each mood: Yearning

Horoscopes

Countdown to FWIMFest #1: Preparation and Expectations

Web Exclusive: American Idol renewed for Season 16 Show to feature new pottery-of-the-idols theme

A letter to fifth-year students

The Fredonia Files Mossack Fredonia encourages students to evade college tuition

Tay is not O.K. Microsoft’s chatbot reveals need for sensitivity training in high schools

Rage over wage Adults unhappy with $15 minimum wage raise

The dangers of being sarcastic after college Man shot, but he sort of asked for it

Horoscopes

Move ova’, ’Nova Syracuse wins March Madness