October 25, 2026
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Student Media, Cornell Incident

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A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

[SATIRE] Highlighting the Feminist Men of Media: Andrew Tate and Elon Musk

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 3 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor In honor of this special issue, I wanted to highlight some quotes from the most amazing men … Elon Musk and Andrew Tate.  These beautiful men have really paved the way for strong and powerful females like me.  Once, I was just a self-conscious girl and......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Moments of womanhood aligned with the signs

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 4 minutesJACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion  ABIGAIL MILLER  Managing Editor  Hello Fredonians and a very happy Woman Issue to all who celebrate (guys please don’t hate me for calling it that, it’s literally what our Editor in Chief called it)!  For some context, I am a transgender man, so although......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Women are funny… yeah I said it.

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor I believe women are funny despite what Dan Schnieder thinks. In a world teeming with age-old debates, from the existence of extraterrestrial life to the proper way to hang toilet paper, one question continues to perplex and bemuse scholars and comedians alike: are women funny?  This......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] America…I am NOT Dating Jace Jacobs

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMEGAN KIDBY Scallion Editor Dear devoted readers, As a humble reporter, I never thought I’d be thrust into the limelight of love, scandal and the unpredictable world of reality television.  Alas, here I am, penning a response to the utterly absurd rumors circulating about my alleged romance with a certain......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: Why your sign should sign up for The Bachelor

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesFACE FACOBSNew Assistant Editor of The Scallion, Jace’s Replacement Hello everyone! My name is Face Facobs and I am Jace Jacobs’ official replacement! In light of his horoscopes being too long, he has been fired, and I have replaced him. Although we’ve never met, I’ve decided to throw my predecessor......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] Horoscopes: What does the month of March have in mind for your sign?

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteJACE JACOBSAssistant Editor of The Scallion, Chloe Kowalyk’s Least Favorite Staff Member (Apparently) Hi guys, welcome back to another edition of Jace’s super great and awesome horoscopes. At our last e-board meeting for The Leader, our editor-in-chief told me I needed to “make the horoscopes shorter” and “edit myself.” I......
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Scallion

[SATIRE] The grave of the Pedro Pastall

Abigail Jacobson
Reading Time: 2 minutesABIGAIL JACOBSON  Asst. News Editor  ATTENTION! I SAID ATTENTION! According to multiple sources across campus, the Pedro Pascal shrine, AKA the Pedro Pastall, has been reportedly taken down. By whom, you may ask? BY PEDRO PASCAL’S HATERS! Those scoundrels.  How dare they take down the shrine I go and pray......
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