October 27, 2026
Featured

Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

Spooky Stories to tell in the dark: Dr. Hefner edition

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Spooky Editor of the Scallion Buckle up, everyone, we have a SPOOKY story to tell you. This story is 100% true, so you better be prepared. Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s begin. It all started on an average Halloween night. Dr. Hefner sat in his office, counting......
Read more
Scallion

Team of crack scientists have discovered that more humans die on Earth than any other planet

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Horrifying Staff Scallywag In a recently-published article in a scientific journal, a group of statisticians and biologists have made a breathtaking discovery. According to the six years of data analysis the group has compiled, Earth is now considered the most dangerous planet in the solar system. Head Researcher......
Read more
Scallion

Guy downloads Tik Tok ironically and starts using it religiously

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesMATTHEW BAUM Guest Scallywag What’s the old phrase? “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” This is the fate that has fallen upon freshman gravitational studies major Samuel Mitch, who has found himself Tik Tok famous. Mitch claims that he was an......
Read more
Scallion

Widdle Adam Schiff uwu, puh-wease don’t wook into tha whistlebwower!

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesJOSEPH MARCINIAK Long-Suffering Editor of the Scallion Hi everyone. Here at the Scallion, we strive for the finest articles. We sit for hours, discussing what is socially and politically relevant, and most of all, what is funny. At our weekly meetings on Monday, I had an idea. I wrote down......
Read more
Scallion

Down with the Scallion! Writer fed up with oppressive formatting guidelines

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesCOREY DALE-MILLER Guest Scallywag Fredonia Scallion writer Corey Dale-Miller was scolded last week for no reason. Dale-Miller, who wears glasses, was told specifically not to use 18-point font. How am I supposed to see this shit if it’s only 10-point font? Like seriously, my glasses barely work anyways. I’ve really......
Read more
Scallion

“What do YOU think of the possible impeachment of Donald Trump?”

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: < 1 minuteALEXANDRA WALSH Guest Scallywag Monnie Lewinski, freshman psychology major with an internship at the White House “He goes to zoom tan, right?” Lenny D., senior environmental science major with a minor in acting “I heard he takes his private jet everywhere, and that is NOT good for the environment. If......
Read more

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. By clicking any link on this page, you are permitting us to set cookies. Accept Read More