October 27, 2026
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Naloxone becomes available in Gregory Hall

Nation facing a mid-term test

Trump claims leakers ‘should be shot’

AI doesn’t want to take over, it wants your Social…

Student Media, Cornell Incident

LOVERCOLUMN: Legendary Lovers

World leaders address war, conflicts at UN General Assembly

Issues of Sports Gambling

From Fredonia to New Mexico?  

A playlist for each mood: Yearning  

The Leader
Scallion

ALONE Day replaces Valentine’s Day; Nothing good will ever happen again, sources say

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes    ALBERTO GONZALEZ Special to the Lampoon   Valentine’s Day is upon us! BEWARE!! Any year prior to this one, this would have been a pretty typical sentence that could’ve summed up February 14th  pretty nicely. Now, however, this is not the case. Due to the wide-reaching social effects......
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Scallion

Biden letter leak goes viral; Ex-vice president leaves not-so heartfelt message for Pence

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  PATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist   “Dear Mr. Penis, I mean Mr. Pence, I would like to leave you some encouraging thoughts and wisdom as you take over my position as Vice President of the United States,” were the first words written in a confidential letter written by Joe Biden......
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Scallion

Hiking for Hillary: Hikers search for Clinton in multiple states

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutesPATRICK BENNETT Staff Lampoonist As the Fall semester comes to a screeching halt, ideas of vacation have been blooming. Students have abandoned the traditional winter break ideas of napping, diving into a pool of puppies and going somewhere warm. These ideas prove to be sub-par compared to the newest rage:......
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Scallion

Facebook fights fake news with real feces: Social media site teams up with poopsenders.com

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes  D. ZBORNAK Staff Lampoonist In a time when social media dominates news coverage, a frustrating and sometimes dangerous issue is the spread of false information. In an effort to combat the spread of fake news, Facebook has teamed up with poopsenders.com to automatically send a charming package of feces......
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Scallion

Chris Christie: presidential butler

Contributor to The Leader
Reading Time: 2 minutes(Alissa Salem/Staff Illustrator) TRAVIS LEFEVRE Lampoon Editor Americans who have stopped pinching themselves and have snapped back into reality are now keeping a close eye on President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet appointments. However, the most important position in the President’s cabinet is the same one that no one seems to talk......
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